Ep 188 – Rachel: From Newbie To Vegan Bodybuilder

Dani

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of vegan proteins muscles by Brussels Radio. My name is Dani, and this is episode 188. All right, everybody, thank you so much for tuning in. It feels like I’ve been forever since I recorded a podcast, even though I guess one just came out that I was doing a couple weeks ago. But one thing that I have heard from you after doing a couple of, like, client interviews on this podcast is that you guys like them and that you want to hear more

of them and you want to hear more from our clients and about their journeys. And I, too, find that to be very interesting. Yes. Listening to various, like, professional athletes talk about their journey is inspiring, but I also find that a lot of, like, high level professional athletes have been athletic since they were, like, two, and that is not most of our journey, so it can be kind of hard to relate to.

Inspiring though it may be today, I have a client on here that you guys have heard me talk. I’ve mentioned her, like, many times on several episodes, and we are going to be talking about basically her entire journey up to the bodybuilding stage, uh, this past few months. And it is rachel clark. How you doing, rachel?

Rachel

Hey. I’m doing okay. Excuse me. It’s the first podcast I’ve ever been on. I’m a little bit nervous, but I’m really happy to be just sharing my story and just happy to be on the podcast. And danny’s awesome. She’s been with me for the past few years now, so. Yeah.

Dani

So tell. Tell us a little bit about, just, like, you, where you live, what you do, all that jazz.

Rachel

Yeah. So I’m originally from Connecticut. I’m a northerner, fellow northerner. I’ve lived in charlotte for the past 14 years. I have a pet sitting business here with a few employees, so that’s going awesome. Yeah. But I have only been here for the past 14 years, and when I grew up in Connecticut, definitely did not have a fitness background.

I was not healthy. I was very overweight as a child. I just kind of ate lots of junk food and didn’t exercise and things like that. I guess a big part of my story, and this is what I wanted to tell everyone, is just, I had a. I had a terrible, terrible childhood. It was not good. And I kind of grew up in a home where there was a lot of uncertainty, and I didn’t feel safe.

Mental health issues in my family and things like that. Didn’t know what to expect day to day from my parents. I didn’t feel loved. I didn’t feel welcome in my own home, and I basically, as a child, just turned

to food. I didn’t have access to a car to drive away. I didn’t have friends to hang out with. I didn’t have drugs or alcohol when I was younger.

So I have a lot of memories of me just being in my room and just eating lots and lots of food, listening to music, isolating, things like that. I remember my dad, though. He did lift weights. He actually did bodybuilding when he was younger, but he wasn’t very healthy about it. He had shoulder issues and he actually had his shoulders replaced. Later on. He would have clicking and grinding, but he would still do, like, overhead movements and things like that.

So my idea of bodybuilding at a young age was like, this is not good. This is. Weightlifting is not great, but, yeah, so I just didn’t really get into health and fitness until later, and I actually had a lot of social anxiety when I was younger. I just didn’t really socialize with people. I was bullied in school. That was something that I really, really struggled with growing up. I didn’t play sports, so, I mean, I have no background in any of that.

Dani

I remember one of the ways that you and I connected, I think it was actually before you and I started working together, was Giacomo, and I had recorded that podcast about my own upbringing and how it was so different than what people would have probably guessed about me. And you reached out and was like, you were like, oh, my God, that’s like, so similar to my story. And I feel like that’s a part, part of the way that we connected initially. Right?

Rachel

Yeah, I had reached out to you. I think I had messaged you, and then I had reached out on your website on vegan proteins, and it was just crazy, just the similarities and things like that. And I really, really resonated with your story. I mean, I had a lot of similar things. It’s just crazy. And even the weight, I mean, at my heaviest, I’m only five two, Dani, and at my heaviest, I was 02:05 so when I say I struggle with my weight, I really struggle with my weight.

I mean, I didn’t feel good about my body. And I grew up in a family that they were very critical of other people and themselves and me. You know, they had no problem pointing out somebody in public who was maybe overweight, and they’d be like, oh, they should be ashamed of themselves. How could they dress like that? Oh, look at them. How gross.

You know, I grew up in the diet culture with my mom always pointing out how she was too disgusting to put on a bathing suit or, oh, we have to lose weight to look better. So that’s the kind of messaging that I had growing up, and I didn’t even wear shorts until several years ago. I just didn’t feel comfortable going out like that.

Dani

So even in Charlotte?

Rachel

Yeah, there was just a lot of messaging from my family and the media and things like that that just affected me growing up, so. Yeah, but, like, a lot of things that happened with you, I just definitely related to.

Dani

And I personally, I always find those stories to kind of be the most interesting, just personally. I mean, maybe it’s because I can relate to them and maybe it’s because you can relate to them. But people that grew up, like, almost the polar opposite of athletic or athletically inclined or healthy or anything like that, that were somehow in their adulthood, when theoretically we are, like, solidified as to who we’re going to be at this point decided, like, no, this is not who I’m

going to be. I’m going to radically change. So what was it that got you kind of down that path? Because I know that when you are raised a certain way with certain beliefs about the world and yourself, it’s hard to even imagine that there is anything else. So what is it that made you realize there was something else and that you wanted to pursue it?

Rachel

Yeah. So I think the main thing with my family, there was a whole victim mentality. You know, things that are the way they are, there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s no way to change it. The world is a dangerous place. I kind of absorbed this from my family, but I also didn’t quite believe it. I always had that drive. I always had that idea that I can grow and be a better person, but it was kind of, like, taken out of me at a young age.

So growing up, I just, you know, I would turn to drugs and alcohol to feel better. But deep down, I was going against my own values and my own drive and my own things that I believed in. So, you know, I’m a self help book junkie, and I love learning how to better myself and things like that. So along the way, even though I was doing these unhealthy things and having all these bad habits, I was still reading about, you know, psychology and how I could, you know, be a better person and how I

could be healthier and things like that. I didn’t actually make those changes, though, until much, much later in life. So that’s a way that I differed from my family and other people. And I didn’t really have any social support either. I didn’t have any friends. I really just isolated myself and kept myself from other people because I always remembered the fact that I was bullied and that had this idea that people didn’t like me.

A lot of self limiting beliefs that I had to work on getting rid of over the years. So basically I left Woodstock, Connecticut in my early twenties. That’s when I had met my now ex husband. And we kind of bonded over our trauma and things like that. But in one way that we differed is I had that growth mindset and he didn’t. So that was always in the back of my mind, like, this doesn’t quite fit. We don’t feel. It doesn’t feel like we’re quite compatible. But he did help me to kind of get away

from my family and start over. And that’s when I started to kind of think of, you know, bettering myself with my health and fitness. I did start getting into exercise, but like most women, I just wanted to get to the bottom of the calories, like eat as little as possible and do all the cardio and all of that. So I did lose weight and I got, you know, healthier, but I was really just a smaller version of myself for a while. I got into running.

Dani

I was going to ask about that. I thought running came first.

Rachel

Yeah, I hated running. I mean, I guess like sprinting and stuff like that was fun. But the actual long distance running, I just didn’t enjoy it. And then I would get hurt and I’d just be like, oh, screw this, I’m just not going to exercise. So I never quite got down to the weight that I needed to get down to, or at least get to the healthy point that I wanted to be at the. So I started getting into like high intensity interval training, which I loved, but I never, ever touched weights until

three years ago. I never touched weights until I went vegan. I was vegetarian for about eleven or twelve years before I went vegan. But I was having a tough time in my marriage. I went through a really rough spot mentally, just from all the family trauma. And I basically started lifting weights about three years ago. But my initial reason for it was for back pain. I do have spinal issues that run in my.

Dani

I was going to ask you about that. Do you want to talk about that a little bit? Like the spinal condition? Like, how did you find out about that? Because I don’t even think I know how. And when you found out about it?

Rachel

Yeah. So the one thing I mentioned earlier about my dad with his shoulders. Yes. He had shoulder issues. He basically had an impingement that he worked through and made it worse. But he also had some spinal conditions that I inherited. I do have something called spondylolisthesis, where your lumbar spine is slipped forward over time. And that means that the discs above and below it can get herniated. And I do have herniated discs. I have spondy, I have herniated discs.

I have a hip impingement. I have mild scoliosis. I have all of these things that when you see them on an MRI, you’re like, oh, my God, what’s wrong with me? Naturally, I freaked out. I went to the doctor and we discussed it. They came to the conclusion that if physical therapy doesn’t work for me, they’re like, you need surgery, you need hip impingement surgery, you need to get spinal fusion. And my brain just went. I was like, oh, my God.

Dani

And how long ago was this?

Rachel

This was actually, I think, about six, six or seven years ago. I started going to the doctor for pain, but it was just maybe before I started weightlifting that I really just hit my, you know, breaking point with all of this stuff because the mris just kept getting worse and worse. And I figured, I need to do something about this because they’re telling me I’m going to need surgery, and I don’t want surgery.

And one thing I didn’t mention earlier is that I do have anxiety and I do have health anxiety because of everything I went through in my childhood. I just have this hyper vigilance, especially about bodily symptoms. So the pain I was feeling, the uncomfortable feelings in my body just set off alarm bells for me. And I was like, I, you don’t know what’s happening. And, you know, when I first came to you, I was very, very concerned about the way my body felt and my form, like, to the point

where it was obsessive. So going to these doctors just made me feel so hopeless. They even flat out told me, you can’t lift weights, you’re going to hurt your spine. So I did go to physical therapy. I did go to the chiropractor for a while. I won’t get into that. That was helpful. But then I started lifting weights, and like I said, I went to gold’s gym. I started there, and I started with a personal trainer. And she was awesome for the time being. And I forgot about this.

Dani

Yeah, I forgot about this.

Rachel

Yeah, yeah. And she really helped me get over my fear of being in the gym, because there was the self conscious part of me. There was the part of me that had the health anxiety, and there was the part of me that just didn’t feel good about myself. And this was at the lowest point in my marriage, and I just needed to do something for myself and to change my life.

So when I first got in there, it was like every little. I used to drive her crazy. Her name’s Brittany. I’ll call her out in this podcast. I used to drive her crazy. Every little thing. I’d be like, why are we doing this? Oh, is this okay? Should I have my spine like this? And she’s like, rachel, you are overthinking it. So we had fun. And, like, over the course of a year, I really made a lot of progress.

I started seeing changes in my body, and I started to feel more comfortable and confident about myself, and my back pain subsided. But then I kind of hit a wall with her because I wanted to take it further. I wanted to really change my body composition because once I started seeing my muscles coming in and the fact that I was vegan, I was like, I really want to find somebody that’s going to help me get to the next level with this and to possibly do bodybuilding, because it finally just

came on my radar. And I’m like, wow, there’s women out there that are crushing social norms and stereotypes, and they’re getting muscle when women aren’t supposed to have muscle. I’m like, I want to do that. I want to get on stage in that next to nothing and show my muscles, which is something I never thought I would be interested in. But then, Dani, that’s when I found you.

I was just kind of googling like, oh, vegan coaches, vegan this. And you came up. And then also, I had listened to your podcast and heard your story, and I was like, damn, I need to have her as my coach. So I started with you, like, a year into my. A year and a half into my weightlifting journey, and I think we’ve been together almost two years, but.

Dani

Almost two years. Yeah.

Rachel

Yeah, you have. Like, you’ve really changed my life and really helped me in so many ways, including helping me to believe more in myself and to kind of let go of the control issues I had with every little thing with my body. Like, just because I have an acre of pain doesn’t mean I have a tumor. I have cancer. So, like, and I’m joking around about it right now, but, like, health anxiety, it’s the thing that not many people talk about it is rough to deal with, but just the changes in my body

have just been insane, and I’m so proud, and I feel so good about myself. I mean, I went from that person who went to the gym, like, oh, nobody look at me to, like, in between sets, I’m, like, flexing in the mirror. It’s just such a big deal to me now. But, yeah, that’s how I got interested in bodybuilding.

Dani

I think that. I think the thing about the spondy and the spine and them basically making you feel kind of hopeless is something that I see for quite a few people with various different conditions. I feel like the medical field, and I’m sure it’s not everybody, but I feel like a lot of times people are kind of treated like they’re broken and that they kind of need to treat themselves like glass or they’re going to get worse.

And there’s another couple of clients I have that have Ehlers Danlos syndrome that have also, you know, that’s a connective tissue disorder that have also basically kind of been told, like, don’t lift weights. That’s like, the worst thing you can do. And I think that there are very few physical conditions where lifting weights is the worst thing you can do. Like, certainly anybody can get hurt in the gym, but anybody can also get hurt outside of the gym. You can get hurt lifting

weights, or you can get hurt putting away your groceries because you’re too weak to properly put them away. Like, I guess if I had to pick between those two, I would pick hurting myself proactively, trying to help myself every single time. And I think that part of the reason that, you know, obviously, you’re not, like, 100% pain free, but I would, you would say it’s, like, significantly reduced from where it

was a couple years ago, right?

Rachel

Yeah, the pain has gotten so much better. I still have a twinge in my hip from time to time. And, yeah, sometimes I wake up and it’s like, oh, I’m in pain. But usually it’s because I did something weird in the gym or, I don’t know, just everyday life, something happened. You know, those spinal issues, they’re not going to go away. They’re spinal abnormalities. But the muscles surrounding the spine is what you need to get stronger to help with the pain. And, yeah, it’s a million times

better. A million times better. And you brought up the word fragile, and that’s exactly how I felt going to these doctors. I know that they’re trying to help, but at the same time, they have to be careful about the wording and everything, because I did feel like I was broken, I was defective, and I felt that way growing up, and it was just kind of a trigger for me. Like, oh, no, this is only going to get worse. Everything is terrible. I can’t change this.

Dani

Luckily, so young, like, what were you barely 30 when you came to this realization that something was up?

Rachel

Yeah. It wasn’t. Yeah, because I think I had spondy since I was probably before I was a teenager. It was just something that I was born with, probably, they said. But, yeah, I mean, the thing is, it’s stable in that area right now, so the likelihood that I will need surgery is very slim. My hip could be a different story. But like I said, everything has gotten so much better with weight training, and I overcame that fear of getting in the gym and lifting weights.

Dani

Yeah, I mean, you’re doing stuff in the gym now that you, I think you would have just flat out told me, no in the beginning, like, no, I’m not doing that. And now, like, you’re doing it and then some, which I think is one awesome and shows to your, like, mental growth, but also your physical strength, like, how much that has increased. But I think it was probably the smart thing to do like, it. You know, maybe, maybe you were overthinking things a little too much in the beginning, but I

totally get it. And I think that with the right guidance, I think somebody should be able to show you sort of the more, um, what’s the word I’m looking for, like, scaled down versions of things so that you can build yourself up from there, you know? And I think you’ve really done a great job with that.

Rachel

And that’s what I love about bodybuilding or just weight training in general. If you have an injury or you have any type of physical limitation, you can work around that. You can find a way to work that muscle in a different way that is not going to exacerbate your physical health problem. And that’s what you and I did. I know when you first gave me my workout plan, I was like, oh, no, I can’t do this.

Oh, no. Oh, no. And then you kept giving me other things I could do, or you would give me different cues or different ways I could tweak the form, and then that helped. There was never like, oh, I can’t exercise or lift weights at all. That’s usually not the answer for anyone. So there’s always some way to get through that.

Dani

So there’s a really big difference between weightlifting and competitive bodybuilding, or the way I like to think about it is non competitive bodybuilding because I think anybody in the gym that’s trying to build their body is in fact bodybuilding. But competitive bodybuilding is an entirely different beast.

And I’m curious, what made you want to do that specifically and what were some of the things that you kind of, what’s the way I’m trying to word this? What were some of your misconceptions you had about bodybuilding before you started that you’ve since learned are not true?

Rachel

Yeah, there’s a lot about bodybuilding that was a misconception or a myth. I mean, when people think about bodybuilding, they always think of like, oh, Arnold Schwarzenegger or like the really big guys that are on drugs. I didn’t know that there was natural bodybuilding even available. But yeah, when I first thought about it, I was like, oh, that would be so cool to do it competitively and get on stage, but I didn’t quite realize what was behind it, like the prep and everything

that went into it. But then as I started researching, I was like, this is crazy, but I still want to do it. There’s just something about that insane transformation that really sparked something in me because I believe that people can truly change their mind, their body, all of that if they put in the work. And back to that growth mindset. I wanted to go far outside of my comfort zone.

I wanted to set an audacious goal for myself, like a ridiculous goal that I couldn’t quite picture myself doing it. But I knew deep down that I could possibly do it. And that’s what bodybuilding was for me also. I remember one of the last times I talked to my dad and it was not a good conversation. We don’t talk anymore. But he had ridiculed me for talking about getting into bodybuilding, especially as a vegan.

And I just told him I was super interested and he’s like, oh, well, you can’t do bodybuilding unless you do steroids. And if you do steroids, you’re a pos, and I was like, oh, well, I’m not going to do steroids, but I am vegan. He’s like, oh, you can’t be a vegan bodybuilder. And he just went on and on and he wasn’t joking. He was being, he was being very, you know, critical and mean about it. And when I got off the phone with him, I’m like, f that, I’m going to get on stage.

I’m going to be a bodybuilder. And that’s when I started really getting into it because I guess spite was kind of what fueled it as well. But also just that whole transformation and bodybuilding is this weird niche thing that it just, to me, it’s just weird and interesting, and I love weird and interesting things. So that is weird.

Dani

It is definitely weird. Now, I can’t remember our exact conversations when we started working together, but one thing that I personally want to really hammer home to anybody that’s listening to this is when you came to me, you already knew you wanted to compete. I vividly remember that. And I looked at the photos, I looked at what you had been doing, and I’m sure I said to you in some way, like, you can definitely do this, but it is not going to be in the first year because we need to take

time and eat and grow before we even think about dieting. Because I have shared your pictures and your transformation on, like, my social media, and every response I’ve gotten about it is just like, holy shit, I cannot believe she did that. How, like, that’s, that’s what people want to know how. And there’s a lot that goes into that how. But I firmly believe that if we, if you had come to me and we just immediately started to prep for the show, it would have been a disaster.

You would not have looked the part. I think that, that, I mean, it was, it was over a year. I don’t remember exactly how long, but it was over a year that, like, you solidly spent time optimizing your metabolism as best we could and lifting and kind of getting the lifestyle under your belt before we started to even think about, like, diet.

What was that like for you? Like, someone being like, okay, sure, we’re going to do this, but you’re going to have to probably gain some weight when you probably already were not happy with what your weight was at.

Rachel

Yeah, that didn’t sit well with me at first because nobody wants to watch the scale go up or to eat extra food, especially somebody that was formerly obese and also had a binge eating problem. I mean, I didn’t just sit in my room and like, just eat a few m and MS here and there. I would eat a whole bag. Like, I would just stuff myself and stuff myself until I felt uncomfortable.

So that was something I was just starting to get over before I started working with you. But that’s also something that I still needed to work on is the emotional eating component of. But yeah, you and I working together, I really never tracked my food consistently before. So that’s something we started doing. I was consistently getting in the gym.

And the key word here is consistency, which really just means doing the same thing over and over again, even though it’s boring, because you build up the habit and you build up the confidence in yourself that you can do the thing you need to do. So, yeah, we did that. We started the training, worked on my health anxiety. That was like, all of that is the prep before the preponderance.

People don’t want to hear that. People have asked me like, oh, how did you do this transformation? What special supplements did you take? Is there a special workout you did? And there is nothing special. It is boring. But I love boring. I like the routine. I look forward to it. It’s something that has built discipline in my life. And, yeah, I mean, there was just a lot of things that we did, and I also learned to tolerate discomfort before I even got into the discomfort of prep because

that’s a whole other thing that was just, we’ll get into that later. But I had to learn to sit in my discomfort when it came to gaining weight for a build. I had to sit in my discomfort of when we were dieting to feel hungry, going in the gym and maybe feeling sore after a workout, learning how to deal with that. So there was a lot of psychological components to us working together. It wasn’t just the eat this, do that at the gym.

Dani

Yeah, that stuff is so important. And I feel like, and now that you’ve been through it, like you said, we’ll get to it. But when you go through prep, whatever weaknesses or chinks in your armor exist, they will be exposed during prep. You will find them and you’ll be like, oh, I thought I was past this thing, but here it is. So that’s why I think that’s part of the reason I think it’s so important to work on that stuff beforehand.

But I remember when you sent me that album of all the pictures. I was going through it and, like, if I didn’t know anything and I was just looking at it, I would think, oh, you know, her physique roughly stayed the same for, like, six months or seven months. Like, it doesn’t visibly. There’s not a huge change that you can see with the naked eye, but obviously there were huge changes happening underneath.

And that’s what I think a proper off season through a prep should look like. If it were a flip book, it would be like the first three quarters of it would look very, very similar, and then it just like, bam. In the final quarter, it’s like change almost every single week until you look stage ready, you know? And I just, I can’t hammer that home enough because almost every woman that I speak to is trying to skip the first three quarters and just go into that part where you look like a flip

book transformation. And then they’re like, this isn’t working. Like, I have to cut my calories. I have to do more cardio, I have to this, this. And they make very little progress. They’re not happy with how it looks at the end because they skipped the hardest part, which is just being patient as hell. So.

Rachel

Yeah, and I just want to tell women out there, and I know you’ve said this as well, like, you can go ahead and eat the lowest amount of calories per day, you can do tons of cardio and get down to that magic weight that you want to see on the scale, but your body is not going to look the way you want it to look. It’s just going to be at a lower number and you’re going to be a smaller version of yourself that look that everyone’s looking for, you know, quote unquote toned or whatever they want.

Muscle. And to build muscle, you need to be. Sometimes you can do it out of maintenance, but most of the time you need to be in a surplus, you know, because you need tissue to, to build that muscle.

And then, like, what happened with me is when I did cut, especially during prep, it was very apparent you could see all that muscle that I had built underneath.

So even during a build, you may look like you have a lot of extra weight on you, but really, that muscle is just, it’s, it’s just kind of beneath that little puffiness of your. Of the fat that you have on top, it’s there, it’s cooking. It’s going to happen. So that’s it.

Dani

That’s it, exactly. And most of the time, you’re going to end up being at least in that. And I could talk about this more. Like, that’s really just like the main initial bulk is going to be when you are the most uncomfortable, I think. Because I think after that, you don’t need to get all the way back up there again unless you want to. You can. Um, but that first one, it really takes a lot of trust, I think, in the process that it’s going to work out.

And obviously it did in this case, because the other thing is a lot of people will just quit. You know, they gain a bunch of weight for the build. And then they’re just like, I hate this. I quit. And now it’s just like, oh, well, you just quit at the worst possible time, because now you have weight on you that you don’t like and you don’t know how to get it off. But I digress.

Let’s talk about the prep itself, because I think even though I truly believe that the building season is the most important part, the prep is certainly the most interesting part for most people. So tell me a little bit about what prep was like for you. What some of the challenges were, what some of the, like, aha. Moments were. Go for it.

Rachel

Yeah. So I’m a planner. I like to be organized. So, of course, before we even went into prep, I was, like, googling, like, oh, what’s going to happen to my body during prep? What should I look out for? All of that? So I kind of was prepared for some of the crazy things that could happen. But I’ll be honest, like, when I first started prep, everything was going pretty smoothly.

I just got right into gear. I’m just like, okay, I’m doing this. I have a date that I’m gonna be on stage. I have these shows I want to do. I got this. We can do this. So, you know, starting out, it was simple enough. I mean, I did feel the hunger. I’m very, very in tune with my bodily cues, as I’ve said a million times, health anxiety. So when I’m even just a little bit hungry, I can feel it and I feel uncomfortable.

So that was the first thing I noticed. But it wasn’t anything too crazy. We started in January, so you gave me plenty of time to kind of, you know, keep going down with the calories and scaling away and getting to my goal. But as time went on, you know, I lost the weight. People were making comments at the gym, which made me feel good, and that really helped propel me. They’re just like, oh, man, I can notice a difference. Wow, you’re working hard. Of course, at first I felt like saying to

them, I’ve been working hard for, like, three years, but nobody says anything until you start getting leaner and you have that muscle. But, yeah, as time went on, so, like, around, you know, three months

in, I started to feel it. Things were ramping up with my business. I had hired a few people, and that was kind of taking some of the pressure off. My husband at the time was helping with visits, so I didn’t feel too crazy with that.

Dani

And we had a diet break right around that time, too. Because you went on the cruise. So we had a week of chill eating. Let’s just say, yeah, yeah.

Rachel

And I felt pretty good about it. I didn’t go crazy, but I did indulge a little bit. And I still felt like, oh, everything’s under control, everything’s good. But, yeah, when I came back, you know, my business was kind of, you know, it’s been very busy. Obviously, pet sitting is a very booming business, but I had, you know, employees to help and things like that.

I went on a trip with my friend Katie, which was awesome. We went to Asheville together, but I was still minding my diet, doing all the things, tracking my food, exercise.

Dani

When was that? Like, what? I can’t remember what month that was.

Rachel

That was in April. So I think around April, things. Things started to get really difficult with the prep because, you know, when you’re dieting for more than a few weeks, your body’s like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s going on? Can we put some food back in here? Like, what are you doing? So I was kind of fighting against that, but I had a nice, relaxing vacation with her.

And this is the crappy part of the prep, is I came back. You know, I had been living. Here I go, I’ve been living in a travel trailer for the past two years. I’ve always been into tiny living and had sold my house a few years before, but I came back to one of my cars missing, one of my pets missing, and a typed note on my desk with a ring around it. And I.

My husband had left me. He completely ghosted me. He blocked me. I didn’t know what was going on. So that was very challenging, right in the middle of prep. And I cried, and I cried. And I’m just like, I don’t know if I can do this. A couple weeks later, I had a few of my employees quit because they found other jobs. My dog died a few, like, a month or two after that. I just had, like, it’s like, prep was hard enough already, and I just had all these things coming at me from all angles, and it was

just. It was bad. But I was determined to do this. I set a goal for myself, and I was not going to let anybody take that away from me. I know you and I talked a lot through all of these things, and even

though you’re my coach, I mean, I probably treated you as a therapist some of the time. You really, really helped me. And I think at one point you said, like, oh, I wouldn’t be surprised if you decided to not go forward with this. But I was like, I am freaking doing this.

Dani

I did mean that because I think that, I mean, I very much am inspired by the fact that you were able to pull through this and do quite well. That said, I have seen some people go through certain things that, in hindsight, looking back, it’s like, oh, we probably should have pulled out of this before, because XYZ thing happened.

And I just wanted you to know at that time that if you had made that decision, I wasn’t going to think anything less of you, because if I was in that position, I might have made that decision, too.

Rachel

So, no, and I appreciate that you said that to me, because, you know, sometimes I’ll just do things just to be stubborn. But I knew, like, I wanted to do this, and, you know, prep kind of gave me that routine and that structure that I needed to kind of say, okay, this thing that happened to me, I’m gonna. I’m gonna put these aside. They’re terrible things, but I’m gonna put them aside for now.

I’m gonna put them in a nice little box. I’ll deal with them later. So, I know I was joking with you. I kind of went into, like, robot mode and just, like, had this checklist of things I had to do. I, in the back of my mind, of course, was thinking like, oh, my marriage crumbled. This happened. This happened. But I had this other thing that was, to me, healthy, even though it’s not totally healthy, but to focus on crap.

And I think I shared this with you, but I actually had, like, a why card. I actually have a card that tells me why I’m doing the things that I’m doing. My number one thing was to inspire others. I was also doing it as a form of vegan activism. I was doing it as an f you to other people that told me I couldn’t, including my family, and just that I’m capable of doing amazing things. So every time I was having a weak moment and thinking, I just can’t go on anymore, I would refer to this card, or I

would journal, or I would listen to motivational, you know, podcasts or anything like that, I always tried to dig deep to get that motivation and to be clear on my path. So there’s a part on the back that says, the hunger and discomfort I feel just means I’m getting closer to my goals. It will all be worth it when I show off my amazing physique with confidence on the bodybuilding stage. And I know this sounds cheesy, but this helped me.

Dani

So, yeah, I don’t think it’s cheesy. I think it’s important. I think a lot of people lose sight of their why. And especially when it comes to bodybuilding, I think it is very easy to eventually become incredibly resentful of your preponderance itself. Like, you resent the fact that you can’t go out to whatever with your friends because you have to stay in and eat whatever you had planned, or you have to go to the

gym and you’re tired and you start to resent it and forget the fact that

nobody made you do this. Like, it’s something that you decided to do. It’s a privilege to get to do it. And I don’t say that from a place of judgment. I have absolutely become resentful of preps and had to remind myself of these things. So I love that you had something right there to remind you of why you were doing this and that it did help push you through.

And I actually think that of many, many, many of the clients that I have coached through an entire bodybuilding prep, you probably hung on to your why like one of the most and reinspired yourself and remotivated yourself almost every single day, which gets really hard. So I was very impressed with that.

Rachel

Yeah. And that’s one of the great things that happened to me during Prep. I realized that I’m stronger than I think, you know, I can do hard things. I can deal with being uncomfortable. That was a huge one for me because I have to tell you, and people don’t talk about this a lot about prep, but I would wake up in the middle of the night with crushing anxiety.

And I don’t know if any of your listeners out there have had an anxiety attack or a panic attack, but it is terrifying. And that’s one thing that I thought I was beyond that. That’s something I dealt with a lot in my childhood, my adolescence. I would have panic attacks, but I was like, oh, this isn’t going to. I haven’t had this happen for a long time.

It happened because I would wake up, I would start thinking of things, and then the hunger was there, and I knew I was done with my calories for the day. What am I going to do? So I had to, like, talk myself through it and basically say, rachel, you’re okay. Everything’s fine. I would listen to soothing music. I would do deep breathing. I would do whatever I could to help calm myself.

And it didn’t happen, like, every single night, but it was a reoccurrence during prep because your body does not want to be doing what you’re doing to it. It wants to eat food, it wants to rest, it doesn’t want to do all these crazy things. So that was one thing that I dealt with. I always thought that the hunger would be the hardest part of prep, but it really was the anxiety and the fatigue, feeling like you could barely move yourself.

And, you know, I didn’t do cardio later on in my prep, I just did steps. I think you had me at 11,000 steps and it’s different for everyone. But even that, like, there were some days I just couldn’t move, but I was like, I have to get 5000 more steps. I got to keep walking. So I would put on my headphones, listen to my motivating podcasts or just upbeat music, and I would just get going. I would just keep moving.

Dani

And I think one thing that I want to point out, because I think this is important because you mentioned your five two. We started, I just pulled it up just to double check to make sure I was right. We started

your preponderance at, I think, 1900 calories on low days and almost 2200 calories on high days, which we had two per week. And over the course of the eight months or so, we got down to just above 1600 calories on the low days and like 1850 on the high days.

And I know for a fact that there are women, especially women, listening to this, going, oh my God, I would kill to eat 1600 calories and then 1800 calories on the weekend. Um, I’d be like, how hard could it have possibly been if this little peanut of a woman was eating that much food? And what I do not think that people understand, and I didn’t understand this either at first until I coached more and more people.

It actually has very little to do with the number of calories you’re eating, and it has everything to do with the amount of body fat on your body. Once your body fat gets below a certain point, and that point’s going to be different for everybody. Like, you are famished and it doesn’t matter how much food you’re eating. Like, somebody could be famished on.

I’ve seen guys be famished on 3000 calories a day, and mine unfortunately is a bit lower than that. The benefit of having a speedier metabolism is basically you get more nutrients in via your food. So that’s nice. But the actual hunger, if you’re like, oh, I’m going to compare my calories to her calories. Rachel is five inches shorter than me and eats more than I. I mean, she ended her prep where I sometimes start mine, but it doesn’t matter because in the beginning of my prep, it also

feels fine. A little hungry, a little uncomfortable, no big deal. By the end of it, famished. So it’s just, I want to point that out because I think that it’s important to mention that it is all relative. And part of the reason that you were able to kind of have calories so high is because we spent so much time optimizing it. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t fricking matter because once you get past a certain leanness, you’re going to be hungry to death no matter what.

Rachel

And you and I had many conversations about this because I felt that I was like, I’m eating all these calories, Dani. Why do I feel so tired? Why am I so hungry? I don’t feel like I deserve to be tired and hungry. And you explained that very thing to me, and I had conversations with a couple of my friends because they said

the same thing. Wow, you’re eating so many calories. And I’m like, I am ravenous. I am hungry. I could eat everything right now. So the calorie number does not matter to me.

Dani

Yeah, just. Just a little thing that I wanted to make mention of because I used to, years ago, consider it like a badge of honor as a coach, if I could keep someone’s calories really high while getting them stage lean. And, I mean, I’m still happy when I’m able to do that. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t, like, super improve the competitor’s life that much because if they’re lean enough, they’re going to be feeling like crap.

And I want to talk about that a little bit. Like, physically, were there any surprises other than the anxiety that you mentioned, were there any surprises physically during prep?

Rachel

I mean, mainly the fatigue. And, you know, I’m a coffee drinker. I love having a cup of coffee in the morning. And sometimes when I’m really tired in the afternoon, I’ll half a cup to another cup of coffee. But during prep, like, I got really reliant on caffeine to the point where I was like, oh, my God, this is insane. But we had talked about it and I knew that it was going to be temporary, but, you know, I would wake up and I would do what I needed to do, go and do my workout, but then I would be

like, wow, I’m really tired. And hungry. I need a nap. And sometimes I would nap, but I got up to the point where I was having a cup of coffee in the morning, an energy drink before my workout, sometimes a second energy drink later in the day, and definitely lots of diet soda and another cup of coffee. So I think at one point, I was up to, like, 600 milligrams of caffeine a day, especially for somebody your size.

I remember posting something on instagram one day on my stories, like, oh, I need this to get through my day. And somebody reached out and said, oh, my God, energy drinks are so bad for you. And I’m just like, I know, but this is what I need to be functioning as a human being today.

Dani

Yep. And it’s. It’s so. I mean, it’s very common for people to become more and more reliant on caffeine, which is why I like to make sure people are not overdoing caffeine before they start prep, because whatever you start at, you will end much higher, um, by the end of it. And, of course, after prep, we try to bring that back down, uh, which you have obviously brought it back down significantly, because it’s not healthy to be doing that for very long.

Rachel

Oh, yeah. And then the sleep. I mean, the sleep was a problem, and it wasn’t from the caffeine. It was just. I mean, some of it may have been, but it was just prep and being hungry in general. So I did get into taking melatonin nightly, but that’s really all I took for sleep. Sometimes I would just have, you know, a relaxing, like, chamomile tea or something like that.

But I got really reliant on, you know, the three to five milligrams of melatonin per night. So I’m kind of weaning myself off of that now. But, yeah, the fatigue really surprised me. Really surprised me.

Dani

It’s something that you can’t describe because you think fatigue. Oh, you’re tired. No, it’s like a fatigue that reaches you to your bones, that you.

Rachel

It’s like your limbs just weigh 100 times more than normal. It’s hard to, like, pick yourself up and just keep going. I mean, you just literally want to just sit down and just not do a damn thing. That’s how I felt.

Dani

Yes. And that’s why we have the step goal. Okay, so this is important. I don’t do this with all my clients, but I do do it with most of my clients during prep. Now, I used to just do, like, just cardio, like, okay, we’re going to start with this cardio, and then we’re going to work our way up the cardio ladder as we get closer, as we need to. And they would do that, but what would happen would be like, in the hours that they were not at the gym, they would just sit down more and more and more.

So as I was increasing their cardio, they were just counteracting it by just sitting down. Uh, so now, for as long as I can with people, I try to get away with almost just a step goal. Sometimes we have to add formal cardio. But, um, I had another question for you. Okay, so this is, this is important. And, um, I know we’ll talk more about this with the post, post show stuff, too, but you mentioned that prior to even beginning to lift weights, you had dealt with binge eating before.

Now, to me, this is the biggest red flag when someone is going to say, they say they want to compete in bodybuilding, but they have a history of binge eating. To me, that’s my number one thing that I’m watching out for. You very much had it under control, like, not really an issue whatsoever. As we went into prep, did you notice anything around that, those feelings, those urges, anything like that during prep?

Rachel

Oh, I definitely felt it during prep, because one of my binge eating triggers, or just triggers for emotional eating in general, is just that discomfort in my body. Just feeling like I’m not in control. I feel helpless. Maybe I feel a little bit sad. I just always wanted to, you know, shove food in my mouth to feel better, to fill a void. So, yes, I did have it under control before Prep, but Prep brought up, like, new levels of discomfort and anxiety that I hadn’t been dealing with for a

long time. And then add the stress of everyday life things, and of course, the things that happened recently in my life, it just kind of ramped it up. So most of the time I would not binge because obviously I followed my plan, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten to the stage. I just want people to know that the journey before Prep was not perfect.

And Prep was not perfect either. I did have days that I went over on calories. There weren’t many, but there were some binges. I did the best that I could. I would try to, like, you know, after my last meal of the day, I would brush my teeth and try to go to bed and read. There were times when, like I said, I would refer to my y card or listen to something motivational, but sometimes it’s just there was nothing I could do but the biggest thing I learned working with you and during Prep was that

when I made a mistake going over calories, binge eating a little bit, I gave myself permission to forgive myself. I would acknowledge that I made a mistake. I would say, hey, this thing happened, but that’s okay. Let’s get back on track and get going. It doesn’t mean that I need to blow my calories for the rest of the week.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t deserve to be on stage. It doesn’t mean that my goal is ridiculous and out of reach. It means that I’m a human being that reached a breaking point and I can get back on track. So you helped a lot with that.

Dani

It also did not mean that we had to compensate by pulling calories the next day or adding additional steps or cardio. Because I think that in prep, especially when people do have a binge, which I’m going to say 98% of people in prep will have at least one binge that kind of rattles them a little bit. They’ll try to compensate the following day.

Like, okay, I want a thousand calories over today, so I’m going to go 1000 calories under tomorrow. Literally the worst thing you could do. So that was another thing. But, yeah, being and telling me that’s also a thing that you did, that not everybody does. And I think it’s really important to tell your coach, because without knowing, sometimes I could be looking at the data and just scratching my head and going, like, what the hell happened?

Like, why are we up three pounds today for no reason? Shit, maybe her body’s fighting back or whatever. And I get why people don’t tell their coaches because they’re shamed, because they feel like they failed. They’re afraid they’re going to get judged. But if your coach is worth their salt at all, first of all, they’ve been there. Second of all, they’re not going to judge you at all. They’re going to help you move past it.

Rachel

Yeah, there’s that. There’s definitely that shame around it. And you and I have talked about it, but I’ve. And I’ve told other people, like, if you work with a coach, you need to be open and honest with them because it is data that you’re taking in and there’s no way you can give them a plan that works well for them if you don’t have all the necessary information. So, you know, at one time I was like, oh, I ate extra calories. Let me just put it into the next day on my fitness pal.

But almost immediately I said, nope, that’s not going to help me. It’s not going to help Dani. Let me just be honest with her and tell her what I did. And I did. I let you know, because you’re right. If the scale jumps the next day and somebody’s like, no, I did all the things I was supposed to do. You would be scratching your head and thinking like, well, what am I supposed to do for this person? So it’s important to be honest about it.

Dani

And it’s like, what are you paying for at that point? If you’re not going to be honest with your coach, what are you even paying them for anymore? That doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. The other thing, from a coach’s perspective, if I were to see patterns like that frequently in anybody, it doesn’t even have to be a competitor in anybody’s measurements.

And they’re telling me, yep, almost perfect adherence this week, week after week. I’m just going to start assuming that they’re not telling me the truth because I know what it looks like. I’ve seen enough of these data sets to know this, that or the other. There’s maybe two out of a hundred outliers where weird stuff like that happens. You ask for more detail, and as you get the detail, you’re like, okay, well, that’s not exactly what you initially said.

And, you know, the same way that, like, you, a bodybuilder, a client, whatever, have to trust that your coach is doing the right stuff by you. The coach also has to be able to trust that the client is going to tell them what’s actually going on as well. So, yeah, just a, just a little side note. I do think that in the grants, if I had seen, and I think I said this to you at one point, actually, you had had maybe like your second, let’s say, episode because it wasn’t like a full blown binge

during prep, but you had had your second one. And we talked about it, and I said something like, if I started to see this happening every week, we’d have to pull the plug on this because it would just be too slippery of a slope that, like, you don’t. You do not want to go down. Um, obviously that didn’t happen, but I think that’s also an important thing to keep in mind is if these and Ben just made a video about this, like, literally just made a video about this, if this starts happening in

anybody’s prep or diet, doesn’t have to be a bodybuilding prep, um, with any kind of frequency or regularity, or they’re getting worse. It’s all it. Call it right there, because it’s not worth the damage that could come from pushing it through that. How was your experience actually competing once you got there?

Rachel

It was crazy. I actually really enjoyed being backstage. I enjoyed being on the stage, and I never thought that’s something I would be into. I mean, I grew up with crushing social anxiety. I just didn’t want to be noticed by people. I just hid, and I isolated myself. So the idea of me being on stage in next to nothing is just crazy to me. And my former self would have never believed it, but, yeah, just, I didn’t like the tanning experience.

I will say that it was awful, especially at the second show, because the tan didn’t stick as well. Something was wrong with the formula, or maybe it was me, but everything else. I even enjoyed doing the makeup, and I’m not somebody that likes wearing makeup at all, but that was kind of fun, meeting everyone backstage. There was a lot of women with inspiring stories, and I got to meet and connect with them.

We were talking, and the expediters were nice, the show promoters. I mean, the expediters were just hilarious. I follow them on Instagram now, but it was just. It’s just a world that I never thought I’d be a part of. And then getting up on stage, I mean, my heart was racing, Dani. I was so scared. But once I got out there, like, I just somehow found the confidence in me, and I was ready to do the posing.

I loved doing my routine to my music and everything. It was just surreal. And even though there was a crowd, you couldn’t really see the people out there. It was really just the judges that I could see. Of course, they’re judging my physique and looking at me and everything, but it was just fun. It felt empowering, and it felt like I just felt accomplished, like I really did something amazing, and I was finally there, and it was very emotional.

My first show, I originally thought I was going to be there alone. My posing coach was supposed to be there, but then had scheduling conflicts. So last minute, I didn’t have anyone to go with me. And then my friend Laurel, she decided to go backstage with me. I already had a coaching pass, and she documented some of my journey, and I have some of that on Instagram in my reels, and I’m going to do another one later.

But it just really, it really touched my heart. Like, there were people that supported me throughout this journey, not just you and a couple of my friends, but, like, strangers on Instagram, people backstage, everybody was just so friendly and welcoming, even though we were all starving and tired and nervous to get on stage, competing against.

Dani

Each other, you know?

Rachel

Yeah, that was like the women that I went on stage with at my first show for women’s physique, that category, I just, we were, like, joking around with each other and talking to each other and, like, you got this. And it was just, it was a really great feeling. And I competed with OCD for both of my shows.

And OCD, I just, I love the vibe. I mean, not all the shows were super organized, but that’s to be expected. But I never felt like I was unwelcome there. And it’s just, I would definitely compete with them again, but it was just an all around great experience.

Dani

And then your second show, unfortunately, after you got there, you found out you were going to be the only one in your category, which I’ve also been the only one in my category once before. How did that feel to you?

Rachel

So originally, so one person dropped out last minute. There were supposed to be two people on the stage. She dropped out. When I saw that, I just felt so crappy. I was like, oh, no. And I did feel a lot more nervous at that second show because you know how sometimes they say when you go out in public and you think everyone’s looking at you and judging you, like, oh, that’s all in your head. I was

being judged. I was the only one out there.

I was the only one that they were paying attention to. You came to that show for me and I was so happy. But at the same time, I felt kind of like, oh, no, Dani’s going to be here. I’m the only one on the stage. What a waste of time. But we had a fun time and I really felt amazing and supported by you, but I definitely felt a little bit more self conscious because I was the only one on stage.

Dani

And you had to go out there and do your quarter turns and mandatories like three times or. It was three times, right?

Rachel

Yeah, it was three times. And, you know, the, the show, the. Whoever was on the mic was making a few jokes like, oh, she looks amazing. Let’s give her first place. And I’m like, haha, I’m the only one. So they had some fun with me, but, you know, I still went out there and did my thing.

I went out as confident as I could. I did my posing the best that I could and I had fun. Doing my posing routine, and I still got really great show pictures. And I talked to some people backstage again, so it was still a good experience and I’m happy that I did it.

Dani

Experience is experience. And the more stage experience you have, I mean, when you’re out there with other people, you in your mind, you should be the only one on stage anyway. Like, you can’t be worried about what they’re doing. So I still think it was good, good practice. And, you know, I, every time you went out, I was kind of in a different spot in the audience and a couple people, I was like, can I just sneak in front of you just for this one class so that I can get pictures or videos?

And multiple times people were like, wow, she looks really good. And I’m like, yeah, this is her first season. And they’re like, she’s going to be real good. So, yeah, I mean, I was glad that I was there. You know, it’s always nice to compete against somebody. That’s why we do this. Not to go out there alone, but it’s totally beyond your control.

And when you compete in women’s physique, it’s just a smaller class. So you kind of always run the risk of being the only one on stage in a smaller class. Even figure is a very shrinking class right now, so we’ll see how that goes in the future. I really want to make sure that we touch upon post show because this is something that I’ve really, and it’s only been like a month, five weeks or something for you.

But, I mean, this is something that we really talk about a lot here, is that no matter how hard you think prep is, post show is actually going to be harder. And I just want to hear your take on that because I know you heard me say it the whole time, but it’s really hard to get it until you’re in it.

Rachel

It really took me by surprise. And, yeah, you had warned me. I had read about it online, you know, little researcher in me. But it was, it was hard because the whole time during prep, I was just really tuned in. I was really in the zone. I was doing all the things on my checklist. I was doing all the stuff I needed to do to get on stage. But once that was done, all the discipline and things that I had in me just fell away for a little while.

I was like, oh, I can eat again. Then there was the emotional component to it, going through my divorce and my pet dying and just the issues I was having with my business on top of preponderance, but I didn’t really deal with it during prep because I had something else to focus on. So that last night when I finished my show, I went back to the hotel room and I just binge.

I mean, I’m going to be honest, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I shoved all sorts of food in my mouth to the point where my stomach hurts so bad, I thought I was going to pass out. And it happens, you know, and then after that day, I was still dealing with, you know, emotional issues from everything that happened to me. And I just kind of felt a little bit out of control with food. I was still trying to track and exercise the best I could, but I just, you know, just something opened up inside

of me, and I’m just like, you know, food, food, food. But I did get it under control after about a week, actually, a few days. I wasn’t flat out binging, but, you know, we had been tracking my food and I was definitely going over the calories. But, you know, I guess that’s the thing. Your body gets so lean that it’s just telling you you’re hungry even when you’re not. And we did up the calories fast.

Dani

So I actually wanted to bring that up. Like, I’m sorry to interrupt you. Um, a lot of people assume. Assume that post show we’re going to go into a reverse diet, which is, you know, very slowly adding calories back in, in a very calculated and meticulous way. Um, and I hate that. I think it is a terribly stupid thing to do, to be honest, after a competition prep. So what we did instead was a recovery diet, um, which is essentially kind of deliberately gaining back, you know, uh, 5% ish of

your body weight quickly on purpose, um, to help you get out of that shithole feeling, uh, that you physically have at the end of prep. And we talked about it beforehand, and I just want to hear, I know you don’t have a reverse diet out of prep to compare it to, but can you, I think you can imagine if I had given you an additional hundred calories or something after the show, how well that would have went. But can you talk a little bit about your thoughts on sort of one versus the other?

Rachel

Yeah, I had heard of the reverse diet before we even finished the season. People had talked about it, and my understanding was just what you’re saying, like, oh, just 100 calories extra here and there, but very, very slowly to avoid gaining the weight back too quickly. But I knew that wasn’t something I wanted to do. So, when you mentioned recovery diet and you told me more about it, I was like, oh, this

sounds way better.

And I did, post show, put on a decent amount of weight. I didn’t gain, like, 15 pounds, but I think in the first week, week and a half, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I gained maybe six ish pounds or something like that. My stage weight was 121. Again, I’m five foot two, so it was about 121 to 122. And then, I believe about a week or so later, I was up to 126 ish, 127.

So I did gain weight. Yeah. And some of that could be water weight. Some of that could be just from eating extra carbs, but some of it was probably fat gain. But by doing that, I did start to feel a little bit better. Now, I will say I am one month post show, ending my season, and I’m still not feeling 100%. But you had told me that’s normal.

And I know that I’m still getting the sleep figured out and everything else. I really feel that if we did the reverse diet and did it super slow, I would feel like absolute garbage right now, more so than I do. So I think it was important to get some of that weight back on. And to be honest, I would have never adhered to a reverse diet.

Dani

You know, that’s it.

Rachel

That’s it right there about myself. Like, oh, my God, Dani, I freaking blew it. I won a thousand over this ridiculous calorie count that you gave me, and it would have been terrible. So.

Dani

And if I had told you our goal is to gain as little weight as possible, like, you would just feel so shitty every single day that you had to step on the scale. And for what? Like, that’s my big question, right? If there was a purpose here, I could. I would understand why people attempt to do it, but for what? Like, if the goal is to get into a building season, to do it again or even just to get back to normal life, what’s the point?

Like, you’re just prolonging suffering. For what? I just. I can’t. It’s so funny that this used to be so standard that we all thought it was perfectly normal until we all tried it after every single prep for years in a row, and nobody can do it. Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody. I’ve never once, not once in 15 years, seen somebody be able to do it. So, anyway.

Rachel

And recovery diet or not, whether it’s reverse recovery, whatever it is that people do post prep, it’s still hard. Like, it’s not. Like I can immediately adhere. I mean, I can obviously do that physically, but it’s

just, it’s hard. It’s a mental thing. It’s like. And then your body’s telling you to eat, eat, eat. So that’s something I just had to deal with, but definitely prefer the recovery diet.

Dani

Yeah, I agree. And I think it’s interesting that basically, at least for the last several weeks, I mean, your maintenance has been close to 3000 calories. You know, you bumped up to that 127 or whatever and then for a couple of weeks, 3000 calories ish per day on average. And you stayed right there, like right at that weight. Now, we talked about how that’s likely not going to be your maintenance for very long, but it just goes to show how badly your body needed that sustenance.

Like, it’s putting it all to use. But I just, I always want to hear people’s take, especially on their first post show season, because no matter how many times I try to tell people that, no, no, no, you think this sucks, wait till next month. Like, physically you’ll feel better, but mentally you’re probably going to feel worse. And I just. The more I think we can hear people who are experiencing it talk about it, it, hopefully the more people will understand.

And this is also why if, if somebody is to work with a coach, don’t even think about like ending that coaching as soon as your season is over, because you probably are going to need that more, more than ever the, the month or two afterwards. So anyway, I want to hear about what your next goals are.

Rachel

Um, so I definitely want to get back on the stage, but we’re going to. I’m going to go into a build. I want to take the time to build up more muscle mass and things like that. But the plan is to compete at the end of 2025 or early 2026. I just really enjoyed it. Yes. Even the dieting and all of the prep stuff, I still enjoyed it.

Dani

Try to explain that. I’m going to pause you. I want to hear about the goals, but you just said something that is so important. We just spent the last 50 minutes talking about some good stuff, but mostly a lot of, of the physical, mental, emotional challenges of prep. And you’re saying, I loved it.

I can’t wait to do it again. I struggle to articulate why to people personally, even though I get it. I’m curious if you can explain it a little bit. Why, why would you want to put yourself through that again? As somebody who also wants to put myself through it again, I’m curious, I.

Rachel

Guess just the fact that I proved to myself that I could do it and like pushing myself out of my comfort zone in such an extreme way just helped me to grow as a person. Like, it really just helped me to, you know, to have more confidence in myself and to just show myself, like, hey, you can do very difficult

things. So I do want to go through that again.

I want to go through another transformation and to be even better on stage, you know, for myself physically and mentally. So it’s just something, like I said, it just really resonates with me. And just the fact that I’m so driven and I believe in that growth mindset, it just, it’s like the perfect thing for me. And I’m basically rewarded for overthinking and for having anxiety.

So bodybuilding, and especially being organized and like a planner and making lists, like bodybuilding is the perfect sport for me. But yeah, I’m definitely going to get back on stage. I’m going to compete with OCB. I may try out some of the other natural federations, and nothing against the drug, you know, nothing against NPC or other federations where they don’t test.

I mean, bodybuilders that do drugs or don’t do drugs, I still look up to them because you have to do the hard work. You can’t just take something and get big. But for me personally, it’s not something I want to do. So I want to get back on stage and show people what they can do naturally as a woman and also as a vegan. Like, it’s that activism component that really stands out to me.

I’m doing it for the animals. I’m doing it for veganism. And how old are you? I am 38, turning 39 in a few days. So. And just for everyone out there, if you’ve never touched weights before, let’s say you’re even older than I am, it’s never too late to start. Like, you’re going to improve your life, your mindset, everything, just freaking do it.

Like, don’t worry about your age. But my other goals are just fun stuff. I started learning how to shuffle, which is basically like dancing to EDM music, which I love. And I just feel really great moving my body. It’s helped me with my mental health especially. And so my new audacious goal is to learn some moves so that I can go dance in the park with some group that’s in Charlotte where they do shuffling.

So that’s one thing. And then another thing is I’m really, really interested in the psychological component of health and fitness. And I started studying from my nASM, CPT, and I just want to learn more about, like, the behavioral components and everything that goes into, you know, creating lasting change with health and fitness. I want to inspire other people and help them in some way. So that’s something I’m working on as well.

And, yeah, there’s just, like, there’s just so many opportunities ahead of me. You know, even though I really struggled with my prep and a lot of things earlier this year and, you know, my divorce, it was actually. I see it as a gift. Like, I was really being held back in so many ways, and I just. I don’t know, I just feel so great about my future, and I do have a lot of goals, and I’m really excited.

Dani

Awesome. Well, I’m super excited for you. I’m really looking forward to this building season and, you know, possible end of next year shows. I don’t think I’ve ever had a client compete at the very end of your shows before. Like, once worlds is done, kind of. I’ve not had anybody compete again until the early spring. So I’m excited to see sort of how this goes.

I’m excited for your shuffling. I’m excited for the new socializing that you’ve been doing, your new place. Like, I think it’s all going to be very, very good for you. And I know for a fact that this podcast is going to be really helpful and insightful, I think, to a lot of people. And, Rachel, where can people find you if they want to follow you?

Rachel

Yeah, I really hope this does help people. And I also want to say, like, I’m really focusing on connections now in my life. I want to connect with other people and make friends and things like that. Anyone listening to this, if you want to reach out to me, get any other information or just say, hey, my instagram is eganmuscle machine, so

that’s my alter ego for me. And it’s like my confidence building name. So, yeah, reach out to me there. That’s where I am mostly. That’s the only social media I really work with.

Dani

And Rachel’s great about sharing so much of her journey in her stories, which I personally suck at. But Rachel’s really, really good. And if you want to see her transformation from, like, when we started together to up till the stage, that’s a reel that I think is on your page. Like, we collaborated on it, so that should be there.

And I think that if you see that and pair that visual with what we’ve talked about on this podcast, I think it will hit even harder. But thank you so much for being on this today. Rachel, I know this was your first podcast. I think you freaking nailed it.

Rachel

Thanks for having me on. I was nervous, but hopefully I did okay. But thank you so much.

Dani

You did awesome. All right, everybody, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of vegan proteins muscles by Brussels radio. If you are interested in any kind of one on one coaching for vegans, that’s what we do, and that’s what we’ve done for 15 years. Go to veganproteins.com, comma, click on the coaching page, and you can just fill out an application.

You will hear back from one of us very quickly. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, youtubeeganproteinsand at musclesbybrussels. Once again, my name is Dani, and we will talk to you soon. Bye.